This is a tough one! How do you deal with forgiveness? Do you kiss and make-up? Do you let it go, but always remember? Do you seemingly move on, but constantly remind others of their faults? Do you turn the other cheek?Think of a time you were wronged and truly dissect what your reaction was. Then try these questions by Byron Katie from her Work:
1. Is it true?
2. Are you sure?
3. How do you react to that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
These questions are very simple and powerful at the same time. Okay, so somebody wronged you. Are you sure it is true? Let's dig deeper...
FACT (according to you): Ana hurt your feelings.
ASK YOURSELF: Is it true?
Did Ana intentionally hurt you or did something Ana do or say produce a feeling inside of you?
Are you sure?
Did Ana want to inflict this pain to you?
Did her actions solely exist to produce your pain?
How do you react to that thought?
What did you do to Ana?
Did you try to hurt her in return so she could feel your pain?
Did you betray her for having hurt your feelings?
Who would you be without that thought?
What if Ana never intended to hurt you?
What if she was going through something totally unrelated to what you thought was happening?
What if your reaction was totally unnecessary and no harm was intended?
If you find you are having trouble with Forgiveness, I strongly recommend Byron Katie's book by that title. It is very likely that a lack of forgiveness in a person's life can produce illnesses and undesirable stress. What I am completely sure of is that not forgiving others is definitely more harmful to the person holding the grudge.
