A few years ago, I had a health scare where I feared to have begun my road towards heart disease. My blood pressure had become very much elevated and I was experiencing chest pains. The philosopher within me was seeing the metaphor of how many times my heart has been broken and how much I've subjected my feelings to. I've been rough on my emotions and lived quite intensely. Maybe the time had come to give my heart a little break and take some medication to ease the work it goes through.
After a series of tests, I discovered the old tick tock is doing just fine. My blood pressure is okay and my beat goes on splendidly. So much for my lapse into middle age, apparently my body isn't ready to age just yet. I'm getting a second chance to do better for myself and work on maintenance. Time for some gratitude and a health kick!!
How does this apply to risk taking and courage? Well, it hasn't killed me yet!!As I look back on my life, I think I've lived somewhat recklessly. I've quit jobs at a whim. Kicked people out of my life for whatever reason I felt was important at the time. I've traveled across the country for the hell of it for an adventure. I pursued and met the most intriguing people because I just had to, traveled with them and collaborated on fascinating projects together.
What is the price of risk taking? Oh, I love my life. My choices have separated me from many dear people and also created a lot of loneliness when others don't understand why I must do what I do. I've lost many things along the way, but oh the wonderful insights and lessons I've earned. There are many battle scars on my warrior soul, but the journey into the unknown has been amazing.
In retrospect, I don't know if I've really had courage. Maybe the biggest element of my choices has been the fear of being miserable in complacent living. Settling for unhappiness is the most frightening thought that kills the human spirit. Heaven forbid!!
I have to be me…Pa’lante!!
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