Influences

Everything around us influences how we think and react. The colors on your walls, furniture, the daily weather, how you fit in your jeans, your friends, your lovers, the way people walk and drive around you, the interactions at the drive thru window, the balance on your bank account, how your hair looks...you name it. The moment you believe an event or person in your life isn't influencing you, you are lost. It all matters, every bit of it. Accordingly, everything you do matters and influences the world around you. There is no escape.

As you are reading this, I am affecting your psyche. You may agree, connect or completely turn off with my words and ideas. Like it or not, you will never be the same. I have just ingrained my thoughts and words into your brain. We are now connected.

If you really digest this, then I plead to you to be gentle. Be aware of your thoughts, actions and reactions. We are all a part of each other and have a huge impact on the world. The challenge is to be the person you admire and share it with the world for all to enjoy.

Let's elevate each other!!

Living in the Now

Eckhart Tolle is one of my favorite authors. I highly recommend his book The Power of Now, because it teaches the reader how to be completely present and in the moment.



Yesterday, I was visiting friends and enjoying the company of a four-year old boy. The boy and I were sharing scary stories about monsters and superheroes. One of my friends commented on how completely attuned I was with the child and his stories. I wondered, how could I not be? I was enthralled by my young storyteller and very much interested on how his mind created a beginning, middle and end. Lately, I've been in the habit of silencing my cell phone. It is quite annoying for many whom are trying to contact me. However, I have found that I enjoy giving 100% attention to certain people or tasks at hand. I've lost the need to constantly be available to everyone. It is retro I guess and reflective of the era of my life without cell phones before 1995. Wouldn't it be grand if people really started to listen and pay attention to each other? Cell phones, televisions, computers and newspapers can be weapons of mass distraction. We often hide behind them and ignore what is in front of us. I feel the best way to enjoy today is to banish these distractions for a while and just listen; even if there is nothing in particular to listen to. Remember the old signs in libraries that said, "silence is golden?" I think it might be used in movie theaters now. Well, sometimes the sound of your own breathing can be a miraculous sound to hear. Try spending 10 minutes in silence and just hear the ambient noise or your own heart beating. You will feel your own presence and life force. You will appreciate a moment within yourself and in your own company. Perhaps you will learn the power of living in the now. And then, you might just figure out what you want to do next.

“If I can't dance I don't want to be part of your revolution.” Emma Goldman

“If I can't dance I don't want to be part of your revolution.” Emma Goldman

As serious as we take ourselves or our causes, there is always a need for levity. The outcome of whatever you might do is better if a sense of fun and joy is in the mix. Emma Goldman dedicated her life to her causes and making important changes for society. Yet, she always had time for love, friends and having a good time. Much of this is reflected in her letters to her friends and lovers. She is as playful as she is passionate with the people in her life. I think that is what has always made her so compelling to me as both a person and a woman. She lived according to her ideals and still had a good time.

In reference to the revolution, I think people can be so adamant about a cause of movement they lose sight of their own humanity. We all need balance in our lives. Not every movement we make has meaning; not every gesture has significance; sometimes we just need to be.

When discussing life with friends, we have similar philosophies in life and see things from a similar perspective. Despite our ages, we agree on needing peace at this stage in our lives, limited drama and the ability to enjoy being ourselves without constant nagging. The perfect friendship or relationships are based on mutual support, enjoying each other as well as our own space and sharing ideas openly.

It sadness me that during this last women's history month, I had asked many women to be featured on my online magazine as outstanding women in my community. Not one of them responded or accepted this invitation. One of my best male friends says it is because I historically haven't good relationships with women. I have trouble accepting this, but many incidents prove it to be true.

Alas, my online magazine is no more!

Regardless of the reason or circumstance, I send out my good will to ALL my sisters!

Sharing

One day, I came home with my beloved and quickly changed into my fuzzy slippers. The man laughed so hard I thought he might break. I didn't know quite how to react. Apparently, he got a huge kick out of my silly behavior while in private. So, the next time he was over I presented him with his own pair of ridiculous fuzzy slippers to delight in. You see, sharing is everything to me. I love to be comfortable, relax and enjoy the simple things in life. Having someone to be silly with in fuzzy slippers is immensely pleasurable to me.


Laughter is one of the most wonderful experiences to share. To laugh at one's self, a movie, jokes or any shared experience is huge. It is fun! Fun is an extremely important ingredient to living a healthy and happy existence. According to Buddhism, levity can save you from the vicious cycle of confusion. It is a lot like the seven deadly sins in Judeo-Christian tradition. Only instead of strict rules of conduct, a good sense of humor can be your salvation.

“Perspective is in the Eye of the Beholder.” Omar Lopez Chahoud

I’ve only seen the world from my own eyes, so it is difficult to discuss perspective in a detached or observant way. My perspective has been mostly positive and optimistic throughout my life. I seldom think the worse of people or their motives; however, I can be somewhat guarded. Perhaps I am merely careful.

Somehow, I always feel things will work out. I don’t sit around waiting for things to happen, but I visualize what I want a lot. Even if many people think its bunk, I subscribe to the teachings of The Secret and the power of positive thinking. It doesn’t necessarily mean everyone is going to be rich, but I believe you end up having the life you think you should have. Like the quote from Henry Ford, “If you think you can or you think you can’t; either way you are right.”

In recent conversations with a new friend, we’ve discussed different perspectives on a shared conversation. I totally understood something different to what was being said to me. It was clarified to me that I was participating in my own paradigm and not receiving the information accurately. It may very well be true and quite intellectual. However, I believe I just understand what I want to understand when anyone speaks to me.

Then there are lies…well, as much as I detest liars, I confess to being the biggest liar in my own life. I lie to myself all the time and only believe what I want to believe. No one has placed a mask or veil over any truth more so than I. I hear the truth in front of me and choose to believe another interpretation. It is sick, I know. I am guilty.

And yet, I rather be me than anyone else I know. I love my own delusions and live happily within them. I want to see the world through my rose colored glasses and never see that the Emperor has no clothes. Let me be, I like it like that!!

Letting Go...

On Saturday, I was part of a burning bowl ritual. It entails writing things to let go of down on a piece of paper and setting it on flames. The ritual is both symbolic and satisfying because it is tangible and physical. We all understand the finality of fire. The list of things to let go of can be as follows:

Perceptions of inadequacy
Anger or resentment towards others
Fears
Feelings of lack or financial limitations
General negativity or depression


In the book The Artist's Way, there are exercises like this requiring automatic writing that I always guided my class to tear to shreds after purging the mental garbage expressed. It may be more practical than setting anything on fire. My point is that a list or an essay should be written about all the things you wish to release from your mind, life or consciousness. Then dispose of it in a visually and physically satisfying way. Afterwards, walk away from it completely and continue your life free and clear of it. Another exercise with the same effect is from Amanda Gore. Imagine having a sack of potatoes filled with one potato for each resentment and unfortunate thing that has ever occurred in your life. Carry the sack around for as long as you can bear it while the potatoes rot and weigh on you. See how people react to your carrying such a load on your back and how unattractive your issues really are. (www.amandagore.com) As much as this seems like a recipe, the special ingredient is your commitment to make it real.

Balancing the Teacher and Student Within...

We are all both teachers and students throughout our lives. Sometimes we teach a lesson, sometimes we learn, most times we do a little of each. I am a veteran of sales and business, yet I always learn from my colleagues. I especially love learning from younger people. Their ideas are fresh and new with an enthusiasm that many older people might lack. I enjoy new ideas immensely and it refreshes my own approach towards what I do.

Recently, I was told I was being humble as I listened to a young speaker. Well, I was busy learning. How many times does it take to practice a new tune on a piano? Why should I believe I know everything? Are there ever enough times you can hear the truth or a new perspective on something that you do daily? Who is to say I have all the answers?

Yes, I have been a teacher for many. The best thing I can offer my students is my love of learning. I want to learn something-new everyday until I breathe my last breath. The most exciting part of my day is when I am surprised at a new discovery. I love the unexpected, because it has a new twist in my life's outcome.

The best relationship in business as well as one's personal life is where there is give and take. Roles change according to what strengths each person brings to the table. It is regenerative in nature because it is always evolving. Like in dancing, each dancer takes the lead at a different point in time. Or in an orchestration, each instrument has a solo or prominent role for a while so we can enjoy the splendid sound it gives.

Find someone in your life you can teach something special to. Choose a strength or talent you possess and share it freely. Then, find someone who has a talent or skill you wish to learn and be that person's student. The ideal outcome is if both activities can be with the same person. Either way, experiment with being both a teacher and student in the next week.